Divorce is an emotionally challenging and often painful experience. It is stressful not only for the partners involved, but also for any children and family members. Fortunately, there are alternative ways to divorce besides the traditional, unfortunately often hostile, legal struggle in court. Collaborative divorce is a respectful and efficient way to end a marriage or conjugal relationship. If mediation is not an option, collaborative divorce is a great alternative. In this post, we will discuss the benefits of collaborative divorce and make it clear why choosing this method to peacefully dissolve the marriage may be appropriate.

What is Collaborative Divorce and how it differs from mediation?

By now, everyone has heard about mediation, where a neutral mediator helps the divorcing partners reach agreement together on various issues involved in their divorce. The mediator facilitates communication and negotiation between the spouses, helps them find compromises and also helps draw up a divorce agreement.

Divorce mediation aims to promote a peaceful and cooperative approach to divorce and it can help minimise conflict and legal proceedings. But there are also other options, such as collaborative divorce.

Collaborative divorce is a process where both spouses work together with their lawyers to reach a divorce agreement in a constructive manner. Instead of asking a judge to make decisions, the parties, under the guidance of their lawyers, try to come to an agreement on issues such as alimony, parental responsibilities, business assets and other matters involved in a divorce.

Instead of having talks together under the guidance of an (impartial) mediator, so-called four-way talks are held. That is, a conversation in which both partners participate together with each their own lawyer.

In addition, the expertise of other professionals and specialists can also be integrated within the process of collabarative divorce, such as, for example, a financial advisor, a tax expert or a children's coach.

Divorce mediation and collaborative divorce are both alternative approaches to traditional divorce proceedings, but they differ in their approach and process.

While divorce mediation takes place through the mediation of a single third party (the mediator), collaborative divorce focuses on a team-based approach, with both spouses and their professional advisers working closely together to achieve a peaceful and solution-oriented divorce agreement/covenant.

However, both forms of divorce emphasise avoiding court proceedings and maintaining control over the process. Collabarative divorce actually merges the advantages of mediation, namely full transparency and confidentiality, and the advantages of regular divorce proceedings where each partner has his or her own lawyer fighting for him or her, creating a collaborative divorce in the broadest sense.

The benefits of collaborative divorce.

1. Maintaining control: In a collaborative divorce, both parties maintain control over the process. They actively participate in drafting the agreement instead of depending on a judge to make decisions for them. This ensures greater satisfaction with the outcome.
2. Minimises conflict: Collaborative divorce encourages communication and cooperation. It helps reduce conflict compared to traditional, often hostile legal fights, which is beneficial to the emotional health of all involved, especially if there are children.
3. Cost-saving: Although there are still costs involved in hiring lawyers and other professionals, collaborative divorce can ultimately be cheaper than a pronlonged legal struggle in court.
4. Speed and efficiency: Collaborative divorce can often be completed faster than traditional court proceedings, allowing both parties to move on with their lives faster.
5. Partisan expert advice: Unlike in mediation, one receives legal advice from one's own lawyer who puts his or her own client's interests first at all times, but never loses sight of the client's interest in avoiding a prolonged legal battle.

The process of collabarative divorce

The process of collaborative divorce usually involves the following steps:.

1. Forming a team: Both spouses select their own lawyer and possibly ( in consultation with the lawyers) other professionals, such as financial advisers or child experts, to guide them.
2. Discussions and negotiations: The parties meet with their lawyers to discuss issues, exchange information and agree on the terms of the divorce.
3. Drafting the agreement: Once agreement is reached, the lawyers draft a divorce covenant which is signed by both parties.
4. Court approval: The covenant, together with a request to pronounce the divorce, is submitted to the court for approval, which will usually approve it unless there are legal reasons not to do so.

Conclusion

Collaborative divorce offers divorcing spouses the opportunity to separate in a respectful and efficient manner. The process is aimed at minimising conflict and maintaining control over the outcome, without relinquishing sound advice focused as much as possible on one's own interests. If you are considering divorce, it is worth exploring whether collaborative divorce (or mediation) is a suitable option for you. An experienced specialist family lawyer can help you navigate this process and support you in reaching a fair divorce agreement/covenant.

Please feel free to contact our specialist mr Angelique van den Eshoff, estate and family law lawyer at SPEE advocaten & mediation, for expert advice and support on collaborative divorce, mediation, or unilateral advice on divorce or severing your partnership.